
My mother, Sally Kathryn (Laing) McCormick, passed away on the 25th of 
April, 2019. This is the eulogy I gave at the celebration of her life on 
Monday.
"Your mum is the nicest person I've ever met."
I've heard these words from friends and strangers countless times during 
my life. They are how I slowly came to understand that Mum was somebody 
extraordinary and not to be taken for granted. I'm so glad to have been 
able to express my own gratitude to her in recent years.
In Henry the Fourth Shakespeare has a turn of phrase: "like bright metal 
on sullen ground." Mum was bright metal on sullen ground. She was solid 
gold.
Everyone here will have their own fond, and if you knew her well, 
sometimes frustrating memories of my mum. I want to focus today on those 
things I came to really admire in her.
We all knew that warm side of her because she gave it freely, to 
everyone, everywhere she went. No matter who you were you would get a 
sweet smile, warmth, and praise. Perhaps fewer people here will know of 
her strength, energy, and willpower, her humour, her infinite gratitude, 
and her fundamentally uncomplaining nature.
In recent years I've found inspiration in the philosophy of the stoics 
and it is hard not to notice strong parallels with the way mum carried 
herself, always ready to help, always grateful, always giving. Standing 
straight, or held straight, by sheer will. Until around 11 each night 
when the universe would gently say "ok, it's time to sleep now Sally", 
and she would nod off where she stood.
And then, as my father knows all too well, was woken every morning by 
her two alarms, one at 4:30, so that she had "time to think", and one at 
5 so that she could actually wake up.
But Mum was not a stoic, she was a Christian. Even though she was tested 
by the Good Lord with three opinionated, and two atheist sons, her faith 
never waivered in the slightest, even at the very end. As with 
everything about her, it held fast and true and uncompromising 
throughout her life. I am not a Christian but I admire her persistence 
greatly.
I am going to try to be more like my mother.
I'm going to try to be as grateful as she was. To remember that every 
morning I wake, every cup of coffee, every lego spaceship built with my 
kids, is a gift of limited supply. To delight and give thanks as she did 
in the smallest of things, common or uncommon. Any time I said thank you 
to mum, she would brush it off. Clearly, she thought it her basic duty 
to this world and the people in it to give everything she had with 
gratitude.
The most valuable thing each of us has to give is our time. Mum always 
had time for people and most especially for us her sons. In this too I 
hope to emulate her and give more time to my own kids, and to you, my 
friends and family, and the other people in my life, just as she did.
She never ever complained. Never. Instead she did whatever was in her 
control to help other people, and sometimes even things which were well 
outside her control. She knew that complaining accomplishes nothing but 
to make you feel worse and to burden those around. Mum never burdened 
anybody. If I need help I will ask for it. If I can fix something I will 
simply fix it, just as she did.
Mum had incredible energy. It wasn't the kind of energy you get from an 
energy drink, or from eating high energy food, because we all know she 
did not do that. No, it was the energy that springs forth at 4am at the 
hospital after several sleepless nights when your sick kid needs to be 
held. Its the energy you didn't realise you had until you decided to try 
and overcome the fatigue with willpower. Mum made amazing use of that 
particular reserve, and whilst it would probably not be advisable to dip 
in to quite the same extent as she did, it's good to know that there is 
always more you can give when required.
Finally, I aspire to mum's strength. She powered joyfully 100% into 
everything that life handed to her, and even her last hugs were 
vice-like, and with a genuine smile. Again that is not because she was 
particularly physically strong, although she was, but because she was 
emotionally and spiritually strong. If a mouse like my mother can be so 
mighty, surely I can too. She made it apparent that it is a simple 
matter of choosing to be strong.
Mum and Dad's legacy speaks for itself. The life they made for 
themselves in this country. The lives they helped others to build. The 
success of their sons Dirk and Mike in building a good life for 
themselves, sometimes against extraordinary odds which most people will 
never face. Of course I also owe a huge debt to my parents for the 
wonderful life I enjoy today, a debt I intend to pay forward wherever I 
can, in my mum's spirit.
At times like this the universe can seem cold, and harsh, and unfair; 
but people like Mum show us that goodness and love abound in this 
universe. The goodness and love is in us. We get to defy the cold and 
the unfair. Like mum, each of us gets to choose to be strong, to love, 
and to make reality wonderful for each other.
Thank you Mum, for caring for me, and Dirk, and Mike, and Dad, and for 
Orson and Scout, and for always believing in me. Thank you for always 
laughing out loud at our stupid jokes. Thank you for sitting patiently 
and learning to code with me on our Apple IIe when I was 8. Thank you 
for showing me the way to be a good human. I promise I will try.